english text correction?

Question

Hi all,
Someone can please check and correct the text i wrote?

The essentials substances in our body
Today I’m going to talk about the essentials substances.
I’m explaining the role they play in our body, what will happen if you don’t have enough of one of them and what happen if you abuse.
Proteins:
The protein is the basic part of our body, it’s used for everything: muscles, enzymes, cell wall,…
The deficiency of proteins is really dangerous, the body save as much as possible and so there are fewer muscles, fewer energies and difficulties in antibody production. The deficiency induces in excessive consummation of carbohydrates.
One example is Kwashiorkor, a deficiency of proteins that has the effect of swelling the stomach. The possible causes are the augmentation of osmotic flux or the enlargement of liver.
An excess of animal proteins can sicken of osteoporosis, because the accumulation of calcium is decreased. The osteoporosis is a deficiency of calcium which lead in breaking bones.

Carbohydrate:
The carbohydrates are the carburant for our body, we need them to doing everything, also thinking.
The diabetes is an example of exceeding with the consummation of simple carbohydrates (likes mono and di saccharides). The insulin, the hormone which regulate the metabolism of carbohydrates and fats, is more needed and this can cause a malfunction and so the digestion of carbohydrates become hard.
Hypoglycemia is when the carbohydrates in our body are too few, the consequence is that our brain hasn’t sufficient energy to work and this can lead to coma. When there aren’t sufficient carbohydrates, our cells digest the proteins, so our muscles, tissues begin to be digested.

Lipids:
The lipids aren’t the culprit of our fat, not completely. Some lipids are really essential in our body and some others are dangerous. The lipids have the function of energy stocking; when we make an activity, like walking, our body utilizes first the carbohydrates which haven’t stocked in form of glycogen and then the lipids.
The lipids are really important but when abusing get fat.
The lipids saturated are dangerous for the body, they augmented the quantity of bad cholesterol (low density level) which may cause cardiovascular problems.

The lipids unsaturated are few dangerous, there are some fats like the omegas, that are essentials for the body, they help the mind, the memory, the think.
Vitamins and mineral salts:
The vitamins are really important, there are vitamins that help the synthesis of proteins, else building the retina of the eye, etc. The main are B1,2,5,6,9,12 K, E, A, D, C, PP, H
Deficiency of vitamins can make tired, can lead problems at skin, make more susceptible to diseases, get blind, problems with the bones and the calcium. The excess is either dangerous.
A deficiency of vitamin A can make blind.

The most problematic mineral salts are:
magnesium (some reactions)
calcium (bones)
chloride (gastric acid)
phosphor (rigid material)
potassium (transport active)
sodium (blooding pressure)
iron (oxygen transport)
sulfur (proteins)
iodine (thyroid)
manganese (some reactions)
Iron deficiency make anemia, a deficiency of red globules.
Magnesium deficiency make muscles crumps.
Iodine deficiency make goiter, a swelling of the neck.

Our alimentation is very important.
Some advice:
Prefer the lipids unsaturated, prefer the vegetable proteins rather than animals proteins which produce more cholesterol, introduce the calcium with vegetables because the animal’s products contain proteins that block the absorbation of calcium.

Thank you

Answer 1

The essentials substances in the human body.

Today I’m going to talk about the essential substances in the body.

I am going to explain the role they play in our body, what will happen if you don’t have enough of one of them and what will happen if you abuse them.

Protein:

Protein is an important part of our body, it’s used for everything: muscles, enzymes, cell walls,…

A deficiency in protein is really dangerous as the body saves as much of it as possible and so there are fewer muscles, less energy and difficulties in antibody production. The deficiency induces an excessive consumption of carbohydrates.

One example is Kwashiorkor, a deficiency of proteins that causes a swelling in the stomach. The possible causes are the augmentation of osmotic flux or the enlargement of the liver.

An excess of animal proteins can result in osteoporosis, because the accumulation of calcium is decreased. The osteoporosis is a deficiency of calcium which lead to bones breaking.



Carbohydrates:

Carbohydrates are the fuel for our body and we need them to doing everything, including thinking. Diabetes can develop because of an excess in simple carbohydrates (likes mono and di saccharides). Insulin, the hormone which regulates the metabolism of carbohydrates and fats, is needed more and this can cause a malfunction and so the digestion of carbohydrates become difficult.

Hypoglycemia can occur when there are too few carbohydrates in our body. The consequence of this is that our brain does not have sufficient energy to work and this can lead to a coma. When there isn't a sufficient amount of carbohydrates in our body, our cells digest protein, so our muscles and tissues begin to be digested.





Lipids:

Lipids aren’t the culprit of our fat, not completely. Some lipids are really essential to our body and others are dangerous. Lipids have the function of stocking energy; when we do an activity, like walking, our body first uses the carbohydrates which haven’t stocked in the form of glycogen and then use lipids.

Lipids are really important but when abused we can become obese.

Saturated lipids are dangerous for the body because they increase the quantity of bad cholesterol (low density level) which may cause cardiovascular problems.



Unsaturated lipids are not very dangerous. There are some fats like omega, that are essential for the body as they help the mind, the memory and the thinking process.

Vitamins and mineral salts:

The vitamins are really important too. There are vitamins that help the synthesis of proteins, building the retina of the eye, etc. The main types are B1,2,5,6,9,12 K, E, A, D, C, PP and H.

Deficiency of vitamins can make you tired, can lead to skin problems, make you more susceptible to diseases, become blind, have problems with bones and calcium levels. An excess in vitamins is also dangerous.

A deficiency in vitamin A can cause blindness.



Iron deficiency causes anemia, a deficiency of red globules.

Magnesium deficiency can cause muscle cramps.

A deficiency in Iodine can cause goiter, which is a swelling of the neck.



To conclude, our diet is very important.

Here is some advice:

Ensure that the lipids you consume are unsaturated, consume vegetable proteins rather than animals proteins which produce more cholesterol, introduce calcium with vegetables because the animal’s products contain proteins that block the absorbation of calcium.





Please note that:



1) alimentation is not frequently used in English, we use the word diet

2) You use far too many commas (,) which makes the sentences confusing and too long.

3) Put the adjective in front of the word you are describing (unlike French): for example: 'The lipids saturated' is wrong, it should be 'The saturated lipids'

4) Carburant = fuel in English

5) Augmentation = increase



Check some of your grammar! :)

Answer 2

There are far too many grammatical errors there to correct simply, but you have made the common mistake of mixing up 'consummation' with 'consumption'.



Look them both up in a dictionary!

Answer 3

tooooooo long man

Answer 4

wow'''' wat a giant notes out ther..... GOSH!!!!!