Question:
Do you approve of the structure (syntax) of the following sentence?
Inquisitive
2007-06-25 23:49:36 UTC
Do you approve of the structure (syntax) of the following sentence?

“Strong winds accompanied by heavy downpour uprooted trees snapping overhead electric lines. “

Please note that is the falling trees that broke the electric lines and not the wind.

Thank you for your help.
Six answers:
Mandi
2007-06-26 00:18:59 UTC
I'm a grammar freak so, instead of describing, I had to edit so it would make sense to me.



Strong winds, accompanied by [a] heavy downpour, uprooted trees which snapped overhead electric lines.
Patti C
2007-06-25 23:57:18 UTC
How about:



Strong winds, accompanied by heavy downpour, uprooted trees, which snapped overhead electric lines.
tsalagi_star
2007-06-26 00:04:49 UTC
No. It is more trouble to fix this than it would be to rewrite it.



"Strong winds were accompanied by a heavy downpour which uprooted trees that snapped overhead electric lines."



Subject-verb agreement makes more sense than trying to be succinct.
doppler
2007-06-25 23:54:45 UTC
No, that sentence suggests that the trees were already in the process of snapping power lines when they were suddenly uprooted by the wind.



It needs at least a comma between trees and snapping, or better still:



"...uprooted trees which fell, snapping power lines."
?
2016-11-07 16:20:04 UTC
besides to what Mon wrote, it type of feels that there are too plenty adjectives strung jointly. i could advise putting apart them: "huge blue settee" is the stunning order. ("Blue huge settee" purely sounds incorrect, yet till I observed Mon's record, I by no potential knew why!) besides, which could stay jointly. So how approximately changing the syntax somewhat by potential of making an adverbial adjective: "He offered a huge blue settee that became into made by potential of a Swedish dressmaker." that's greater wordy, yet clearer.
me
2007-06-26 00:07:38 UTC
No, That sentence make no sense to me.


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