Would you please check my grammar mistakes in this text?

Question

I was told to translate it for my tomorrow's translation class, but it seems I've made some mistakes.

Our University is a good beginning – that’s what thousands of V. citizens and citizens of neighboring Oblasts think of it. More than 14000 of graduates of 25 departments left the University over the last 25 years to be recruited as specialists and chiefs of various enterprises, organisations and administrative institutions. The same amount of students is studying at the University and being prepared for practical work at the moment.
A young but rather large (the second largest by the number of students and professors) Volgograd Higher Education Institution – the University – is one of the dynamically developing Universities and a member of the Eurasian University Association. The University has 6 divisions, 11 departments and 4 scientific-research institutes, research centres and laboratories. It takes leading positions on the regional market of the educational services which are being strengthened by effective use of competitive advantages such as:
- multidisciplinary scientific and didactic competency of the higher educational teaching personnel which was formed throughout 25 years of the University history;
- modern level of education which satisfies all the demands of the educational market and which was achieved by constant development of University staff and management;
- use of modern technical devices and information technologies for academic activities and classes;
- variety of forms and standards for academic activity organisation and potential opportunity to choose the duration of course;
- flexibility of marketing policy on the market of educational services;
- positive image formed by University professors, staff, students and graduates.
105 PhD and 400 masters of sciences realise basic educational programs in 11 Master’s degree programmes, 22 Bachelor’s programmes with some 43 majors, and prepare chartered professionals in 41 Postgraduate and Doctoral Training Programmes. 8 Dissertation Councils work fruitfully in 17 directions.

Answer 1

Without knowing the original, I can only make suggestions to improve the English you have provided. While it is important to accurately translate the text you have, it is also important to get a clear meaning across to the reader.



Institute would be better than Institution, but perhaps it is known as that so it’s ok.



University only has a capital letter if it is part of its name. When you talk generally about a university, it is lower case.



You don’t need semi colons as well as bullet points.



You don’t start a sentence with a number.



Here are my suggestions:



Our university is a good place to start – that’s what thousands of Volgograd citizens and citizens from neighbouring oblasts think of it. More than 14000 graduates from 25 departments have left the university over the last 25 years to be recruited as specialists and chiefs of various enterprises, organisations and administrative institutions. The same number of students are currently studying at the university and preparing for practical work.



A young but rather large university (the second largest according to the number of students and professors), Volgograd Higher Education Institution is developing dynamically and it is a member of the Eurasian University Association. The university has 6 divisions [do you mean faculties?], 11 departments and 4 scientific-research institutes, research centres and laboratories. It is the leader in the region’s market for educational services, and it is strengthened by the effective use of competitive advantage such as:

- multidisciplinary scientific and didactic competence in the higher educational teaching personnel which has been formed throughout the university’s 25 year history

- a modern standard of education which satisfies all the demands of the educational market and which has been achieved by the continuous development of university staff and management

- the use of modern technical equipment and information technology for academic activities and classes

- a variety of formats and levels for organising academic activity and the ability to choose the length of course

- flexibility in marketing policy for the educational services market

- a positive image from university professors, staff, students and graduates.



There are 105 postgraduates and 400 masters of science attending basic educational programs in 11 masters degree courses and 22 bachelor’s courses with some 43 majors, while chartered professionals follow 41 postgraduate and doctoral training programmes. Eight Dissertation Councils work effectively in 17 areas.



Edit:

To Reg V, this is supposed to be a piece of translation so you can't stray that far from the original. Oblasts and Dissertation Councils are both correct recognised terms in Russia.

Answer 2

Our University is a good beginning – that’s what thousands of V. citizens and citizens of neighboring Oblasts think of it. More than 14000 of graduates of 25 departments left the University over the last 25 years to be recruited as specialists and chiefs of various enterprises, organisations and administrative institutions. The same amount of students is studying at the University and being prepared for practical work at the moment.

A young but rather large (the second largest by the number of students and professors) Volgograd Higher Education Institution – the University – is one of the dynamically developing Universities and a member of the Eurasian University Association. The University has 6 divisions, 11 departments and 4 scientific-research institutes, research centres and laboratories. It takes leading positions on the regional market of the educational services, which are being strengthened by effective use of competitive advantages such as:

- multidisciplinary scientific and didactic competency of the higher educational teaching personnel which was formed throughout 25 years of the University history;

- modern level of education which satisfies all the demands of the educational market and which was achieved by constant development of University staff and management;

- use of modern technical devices and information technologies for academic activities and classes;

- variety of forms and standards for academic activity organisation and potential opportunity to choose the duration of course;

- flexibility of marketing policy on the market of educational services;

- positive image formed by University professors, staff, students and graduates.

105 PhD and 400 masters of sciences realise basic educational programs in 11 Master’s degree programmes, 22 Bachelor’s programmes with some 43 majors, and prepare chartered professionals in 41 Postgraduate and Doctoral Training Programmes. 8 Dissertation Councils work fruitfully in 17 directions.



LOL. all i added was the comma. LOLs. that was all i found. to be honest, you dont really have any other mistakes i think your fine.!

Answer 3

I haven't tried to edit your translation. Instead, I've adopted an approach that rewrites the text as a piece of advertising/promotional copy. I was not sure what Oblasts were so I interpreted this phrase as meaning Regional Administrations. Also, I was not sure what you meant by Dissertation Councils so I have ignored that phrase completely. My attempt should be interpreted as an initial approach, but I hope that you find the style and the language interesting



If you want to build your future career on the foundation of a sound university education, you’ll get some of the best teaching and learning experiences available if you come to the University of Volgograd, one of Russia’s top Higher Education Institutes. The university is highly-rated by the people of Volgograd and by citizens of neighbouring regional administrations or Oblasts. Over the last 25 years more than 14,000 of the university’s graduates, from 25 faculties, have gone into a wide range of enterprises and organisations, achieving high status positions requiring specialist expertise and leadership skills, including senior executive positions. Some 14,000 students are currently enrolled at the university, preparing themselves for their chosen careers.



The University of Volgograd, a member of the Association of Eurasian Universities, is the second-largest university in Russia measured by numbers of students and professors. Although relatively young (founded in 1984) it has succeeded in achieving significant status among peer universities, due mainly to the following factors:-



1 The strength of the professorial and other staff, who have developed very high standards of teaching across a multidisciplinary spectrum of scientific and other courses

2 Up-to-the-minute courses, continually reflecting the latest knowledge, developed by university staff and management.

3 The use of state-of-the art teaching aids, presentational media and information technology in a range of settings, from fully-equipped lecture theatres to laboratories and libraries.

4 Courses are flexibly structured and allow students to choose the duration of their courses to meet personal needs

5 Imaginative and efficient promotion of the University’s degree-level and other courses using classical marketing techniques



The scale of Volgograd University’s academic effort is demonstrated by the numbers of post-graduates studying for advanced qualifications: the university currently has 105 post-graduates studying for PhDs and another 400 post-graduates studying their choice from 11 MSc programmes. In addition, a total of 22 first-degree programmes are offered, with a choice from 43 different majors. Chartered professionals are also prepared through a further 41 post-graduate and doctoral training programmes.

Answer 4

There are some uses of "is" that should be "are".



There are extra "of"'s which are not needed.



For example, this is how the first paragraph probably should read:



Our University is a good beginning – that’s what thousands of V. citizens and citizens of neighboring Oblasts think of it. More than 14000 graduates from 25 departments have left the University over the last 25 years to be recruited as specialists and chiefs of various enterprises, organisations and administrative institutions. The same amount of students are studying at the University and being prepared for practical work at the moment.



You'll need to complete the rest yourself.

Answer 5

Hi Peter, I have copied your essay above to make some changes. It is always good to insert 'white space', meaning - break your essay into paragraphs because that makes it easier to read. If I change anything, I will place an * before whatever I change. What is Germany? An essay about the characteristics of Germany You want a terrific pizza? Then you have to go to Italy! You are looking for the best vodka? Ask a Russian! Or do you need a wonderful massage? Nothing beats a Thai massage. Every country has its peculiarities and is famous for something else. In this essay I want to examine the characteristics and the particularities of Germany. If you are not only interested in German beer and Riesling you often hear that Germany is known as the land of poets and thinkers. Germany, over the centuries, has produced a great number of polymaths and geniuses. Nobel laureates like Hermann Hesse, Wilhelm Röntgen and Albert Einstein are known all over the world. Next to education, Germany is famous for its cuisine of sweet desserts and cakes such as Black Forest gateau and Stollen. Apart from that, every tourist has to try at least one time sausages with sauerkraut made by a German *company. Even if someone has never been to Germany before, he knows German car manufacturers such as Porsche, Mercedes, BMW, Audi or Maybach. The automobile industry is one of the largest employers *in the country and *produces many *leading automotive brands in the world market. Everyone who comes to Germany will see the country with different eyes and from various perspectives, but in my eyes, Germany is an open-minded country with many nice sites apart from its dark past. Question: Did you mean to write 'cities' instead of 'sites'? or, Did you mean to write 'locations' or 'places' instead of 'sites'? I suggest that you do not include the words ".. . apart from its dark past." Why? Because many countries have pieces of history that they are not particularly proud of. Best wishes for your essay.

Answer 6

copy it onto a word document then run a spell check. It points out grammatical and syntax errors.

Answer 7

looks good to me

Answer 8

read it outloud