english speakers i need ur help?

Question

so am writing this long essay on The Prime of Miss Jean and i need some help with the editing :( plz tell me if there are any grammatical or punctual mistakes in the following paragraph
suggestions are more than welcome
many thanx

"Miss Jean Brodie, the self dramatizing controversial teacher, in Muriel Spark’s novel, The prime of Miss Jean Brodie, dedicates her life to putting old heads on her young favorite six students shoulders by imposing her ideas and beliefs. She is obsessed with the notion that they should look up to her and consider her as a role model, a person who they should emulate. She encourages them to imitate her persona, beliefs, and her views on life and politics. She says,” Deep in most of us is the potential for greatness or the potential to inspire greatness.” Miss Brodie believes herself to be great and is to some extent complied to inspire greatness. However she fails to recognize each of her prepubescent students’ identity, and deprives them from the right of forming their own unique personalities. She only aids them to become what she wants them to become. Miss Brodie knows that only way for her to shine and to lead instead of being a follower as she has been for her entire world, and to be someone else’s role model is by Becoming a teacher in an elementary school. She knows that girls in that age are perfect to practice power and authority over; to dictate and direct, for they know little and their minds are blank. They won’t question her for she is after all a teacher, she says, “I am a teacher! First, last, always!.” Taking advantage of her position Miss Jaen starts to mold their minds and shaping their characters to be like hers and sets to be a wrong model for these young girls. Aristotle argues that people have an inbuilt tendency towards behaving correctly, morally. He goes on to state that people learn morals by observing the morals of those they look up to and model themselves on, and through continued practice one becomes virtuous, or moralled! He then goes on to point out that even role models have non optimum morals and that our own ideas of right and wrong are influenced by theirs. He also states that as youngsters have a tendency to look for role models or someone they can associate with and aspire to be, then one needs to set a good example around youth."

Answer 1

Tim - your abusive diatribe was completely uncalled for. Can I point out to you that 'grammar' is spelled with an 'a' and not an 'e', and you have made numerous other mistakes. You have the gall to say that iris r is condescending? Have you looked in the mirror lately? You are both condescending and aggressive. Iris r did not, as you say, 'ask for it'.



David's answer is very good and he's even got the correct punctuation, which most people ignore.



Mould is, however, spelled with a 'u', although I have no idea if it is different in the US.



'Favourite' is the UK spelling, and 'favorite' is the US spelling. Tim seems to have this the wrong way around.

Answer 2

"Miss Jean Brodie, the self dramatizing controversial teacher in Muriel Spark’s novel, the prime of Miss Jean Brodie dedicates her life to putting old heads on her young favorite six students shoulders by imposing her ideas and beliefs



Corrections made ^^



However, she fails to recognize each or prepubescent



Correction made ^^



Miss Brodie knows that the only way for her to shine and to lead instead of being a follower as she has been for her entire world, and to be someone else’s role model is by becoming a teacher in an elementary school.



Correction made ^^ Think about revising the first couple of lines



Taking advantage of her position, Miss Jean starts to mold their minds and shaping their characters to be like hers, and sets to be a wrong model for these young girls.



Corrections made ^^



Aristotle argues that people have an inbuilt tendency towards behaving correctly and morally.



Correction made, although not necessary. ^^



He also states that because youngsters have a tendency to look for role models or someone they can associate with and aspire to be, then one needs to set a good example around youth."



Correction made^^



You should also make this paragraph into two. A paragraph is usually 4-7 sentences, depending on the topic and the different subjects of the topic.



Study the corrections made, and then re-read both your version and mine. This will help you prevent mistakes in the future. You should eventually be able to see what works and what doesn't, and you can then form your own writing style.



Good luck.





EDIT** To the guy below me...Are you effing serious? She is writing an essay about an actual book called The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie in her own words. That is what writing is all about. From your OWN perspective. Ever heard of an editorial? A columnist? There is nothing condescending or arrogant about the way she asked. She said please, and offered many thanks.

Answer 3

Miss Jean Brodie, the self dramatizing controversial teacher in Muriel Spark’s novel The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie [title in italics], dedicates her life to putting old heads on her young favourite six students' shoulders by imposing her ideas and beliefs. She is obsessed with the notion that they should look up to her and consider her as a role model, a person who they should emulate. She encourages them to imitate her persona, beliefs, and her views on life and politics. She says ”Deep in most of us is the potential for greatness or the potential to inspire greatness”.



Miss Brodie believes herself to be great and does to some extent inspire greatness. However she fails to recognize each of her prepubescent students’ identities, and deprives them of the right to form their own unique personalities. She only aids them to become what she wants them to become. Miss Brodie knows that the only way for her to shine and to lead instead of being a follower (as she has been for her entire life), and to be someone’s role model is by becoming a teacher in an elementary school. She knows that girls of that age are perfect to practice power and authority over; to dictate to and to direct, for they know little and their minds are blank. They won’t question her for she is after all a teacher. She says, “I am a teacher! First, last, always!”



Taking advantage of her position Miss Jean starts to mold their minds and shape their characters to be like hers and sets to be a role model for these young girls. Aristotle argues that people have an inbuilt tendency towards behaving correctly, or morally. He goes on to state that people learn morals by observing the morals of those they look up to and model themselves on, and through continued practice one becomes virtuous, or moral. He then goes on to point out that even role models have less than optimum morals and that our own ideas of right and wrong are influenced by theirs. He also states that as youngsters have a tendency to look for role models or someone they can associate with and aspire to be, then one needs to set a good example around youth.

Answer 4

Making out is once you kiss somebody passionately. additionally, a variety of of english talking human beings do hear to Spanish music. individually, i do no longer solely hear to Spanish music yet there are some songs that I play now and returned.

Answer 5

Ok your essay question is interesting and self ingratiating. I suspect that your mode of thinking is rather naive, envious, and childlike. I pity juveniles who think in such a psuedo-intellectual way. Ok, your condescension is obvious, by stating to readers to proof read your material in some obscene arrogant way. So for the record I have pasted your work and think that it is a typical 'girlie; gossip piece of prose about nothing in particular apart from copy this copy that gibberish. Role model emulation seems to be the motif of your message and the paradox is that the teacher is not a convincing role model at all but is merely an imperfect perfectionist. The moral of the story is obvious however you are very naive still in conveying a pitiful piece of prose and expecting someone to correct your mistakes all the while you are amusing yourself by getting people to do something that you yourself would not do.



So your correction would be something like



"Miss Jean Brodie, the self dramatizing controversial teacher, in Muriel Spark’s novel, (fullstop the sentence is too long)



The prime of Miss Jean Brodie, dedicates her life to putting old heads on her young favorite ( The word 'favourite' is an American spelling, this is unacceptable in Commonwealth English speaking nations) six students shoulders by imposing her ideas and beliefs. She is obsessed with the notion that they should look up to her and consider her as a role model, a person who they should emulate. She encourages them to imitate her persona, beliefs, and her views on life and politics. She says,” Deep in most of us is the potential for greatness or the potential to inspire greatness.” Miss Brodie believes herself to be great and is to some extent complied to inspire greatness. However she fails to recognize each of her prepubescent students’ identity, (prepubescent is a pre-teenager primary school child, therefore teaching Aristotle to pre teens is very naive, and childish indeed) and deprives them from the right of forming their own unique personalities. She only aids them to become what she wants them to become. Miss Brodie knows that only way for her to shine and to lead instead of being a follower as she has been for her entire world, and to be someone else’s role model is by Becoming a teacher in an elementary school. She knows that girls in that age are perfect to practice power and authority over; to dictate and direct, for they know little and their minds are blank. They won’t question her for she is after all a teacher, she says, “I am a teacher! First, last, always!.” Taking advantage of her position Miss Jaen (Mispelling) starts to mold (mispelling) their minds and shaping their characters to be like hers and sets to be a wrong model for these young girls.



(New Paragraph) Aristotle argues that people have an inbuilt tendency towards behaving correctly, morally. He goes on to state that people learn morals by observing the morals of those they look up to and model themselves on, and through continued practice one becomes virtuous, or moralled! He then goes on to point out that even role models have non optimum morals and that our own ideas of right and wrong are influenced by theirs. He also states that as youngsters have a tendency to look for role models or someone they can associate with and aspire to be, then one needs to set a good example around youth."



Your grammer is ok for an American, however, I suspect that you are not from an English speaking background, you are a female writer since you write from a rather 'girlie' perspective, ie, petty envy and sarcasm. You paraphrase Aristotle and try to inspire pre-teens to understand the complexities of the moral fibre of the good citizen like some idiot pedagogue who has no comprehension of the age group bracket he or she is trying to teach.



On the whole you are not all that impressive in my summation. The moral and motif derived from your prose writing leaves much to be desired.

Answer 6

spell favourite properly.

miss jean starts to MOULD, MOLD is bacteria

Answer 7

Welcum turists we spik inglish