Can anyone here help me in correcting the grammar of this story?

Kaleem

2010-01-14 03:48:18 UTC

I was on my way home, I saw a group of students who were happy exchanging conversations as if they were the only existing humans in this world. They were talking about their own relationships. With that scenario, I can’t help but to reminisce the sad story of mine together with the two important people in my life. When I was in high school, I have two friends whom I trusted most. (Ms. A and Mr. D). They were my closest friends among my classmates. My armour when I am in battle, my light in the darkness and the persons who can make me laugh even if I am sad. We have shared a lot of moments and we are happy with our intimate friendship, until one time, I broke that, I exceeded to the limit. I fell in love with Ms. A and I hid my feelings for her. I was preoccupied with guilt and I was not able to stand to it. To ease that guilt and sufferings, I confessed to Mr. D. I told him everything about my feelings for Ms A. I asked for an advice, but he just answered me with a sigh, I don’t know why. Maybe he is just exhausted for he can no longer draft an advice, but it is ok, at least now I know that I am not alone and he is still there to help me.

It was a rainy afternoon, when I heard a blunt gossip that makes all my blood pour up to my brain. I was shocked with that, I can’t believe it ! I can’t believe that my best friend (Mr.D) cheated me, to prove that it was just a gossip. I confronted Mr D hoping that it’s not true, but the hope vanish in my heart as he told me the truth. Yes, you are right! He is now courting Ms. A. Though he knew that I’m deeply in love with her. At the moment he spit the word that I don’t want to hear, my fist move and gave him an intense blow like I was a hooligan. I didn’t mean to hurt him that much. It was just that my eardrums plucked when I heard the phrase.”I am Sorry, But I love her”. It seems that all my anger from the tips of my toes up to the root of my hair seemed to rush through my veins and sent it into pandemonium. So This was the reason, the reason why he didn’t gave me an advice, when I confessed to him. Because he was in love with Ms. A. He loves the girl I dreamt to be a part of my life. The thing that hurts me that most is he didn’t tell me the truth that he was courting Ms. A, and he let the destiny tells me what the bullshit he is doing. After that incident I started to evade him, at first it is hard because we were in the same class. but as the days passed by, I have been used to it. I have fought and revealed my feelings to Ms A. but it was already late. Yes, you are right again. My best friend and Ms. A are now couples and no longer a friends, it hurts me like my heart was pounded to pieces, but I don’t have a choice rather to accept it but I can’t, I have been too harsh with my best friend, I treated him like he was my mortal enemy and even intended to break their relationship . I have changed a lot and that is because of jealousy, until one time, I found out that I have lost both of them. My best friend and my dream girl. If only I let them to be happy, if only I just kept silent, If only I accept their relationship. Maybe right now, we are still friends, maybe right now they we are still my armour and the most of all maybe right now we are happy. But its late and now that they are gone. I am regretting all things that I have done to them, but it is useless now. And that friendship and friends will never be back again.

** All neccessary corrections have been done **

-- GOOD STORY --

Someone

2010-01-14 04:18:09 UTC

I've reworded it a bit, so that the story flows a little better and the reader can understand what it is you're trying to say.

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I was on my way home when I saw a group of students who were happily talking as if they were the only people in the world. They were talking about their own relationships and, when I saw them, I couldn't help but reminisce about the sad story of me and the two most important people in my life.

When I was in high school, I had two friends whom I trusted most (Ms. A and Mr. D). Amongst my classmates, they were my closest friends, my armour in battle, my light in the darkness and the people who could make me laugh even when I was sad. We shared a lot of moments and were happy with our intimate friendship. Until one time. I broke that. I exceeded the limit. I fell in love with Ms. A and hid my feelings from her. I was preoccupied with guilt and couldn't stand it. To ease that guilt and suffering, I confessed to Mr. D. I told him everything about my feelings for Ms A. I asked him for advice, but he just answered me with a sigh and I didn't know why. I thought maybe he was just exhausted, too tired to offer advice, and that was OK by me. At least I knew I wasn't alone and he was still there to help me.

It was a rainy afternoon when I heard some gossip which made my blood boil. I was shocked. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe that my best friend (Mr. D) deceived me. I confronted Mr D hoping that it wasn't true, but the hope vanished in my heart as he told me the truth. Yeah, you're right!!! He was dating Ms. A, even though he knew that I was deeply in love with her. In an instant, he spat out the words that I didn't want to hear. My fist moved and gave him an intense blow, like I was a hooligan. I didn’t mean to hurt him that much, it was just that my ears rang when I heard the phrase ”I'm sorry, but I love her”. It seemed that all my anger, from the tips of my toes up to the roots of my hair, rushed through my veins and sent it into pandemonium. So this was the reason why he didn’t give me any advice when I confessed to him, because he also loved Ms. A. He loved the girl I dreamed to be a part of my life. The thing that hurt me so much was that he didn't tell me the truth, that he was dating Ms. A, and he let destiny tell me about the bullshit he was doing. After that incident I started to evade him. At first it was hard because we were in the same class but, as the days passed, I got used to it. I fought and revealed my feelings to Ms A, but it was already too late. Yeah, you are right again. My best friend and Ms. A were a couple and no longer my friends. It hurt me so deeply, like my heart was broken into pieces. I didn't have any choice other than to accept it, but I couldn't. I was too harsh with my best friend, I treated him like he was my mortal enemy and even intended to break their relationship. I changed a lot because of jealousy, until eventually I found out that I'd lost both of them, my best friend and my dream girl. If only I could have let them be happy, if only I could have just kept silent, if only I could have accepted their relationship, then maybe now we would still be friends, maybe now they would still be my armour and, most of all, maybe now we would be happy, but it's too late and, now that they're gone, I regret all the things I did to them. Their friendship will never come back again.

tica

2016-09-28 13:27:05 UTC

i might say rather of better honor roll that her sister might get a greater advantageous grade. to illustrate She gained an A and her sister gained an A+ or you may desire to declare Nicole might make the respect roll, her sister might graduate Magna C u m Laude.