Smonk
2009-05-31 10:40:05 UTC
I am desperate to convey my feelings to him in a way that he will really understand. I will give DIEZ PUNTOS and my eternal undying gratitude to anyone who can translate this letter into Spanish for me. POR FAVOR, POR FAVOR, POR FAVOR! -
"I decided to write you a letter because expressing my feelings comes so much easier this way and I needed to clarify a few things.
I have known for some time now that your feelings for me would never develop into anything more. My intuition told me this from the beginning but I almost did not want to admit it to myself. I have been confused and uncertain of the extent of my feelings for you. I now realise that I like you a lot. Last night you said that you are simple and boring, but I do not agree with you. You are a simple and straightforward man, yes, but all the personal qualities that you have demonstrated to me are qualities that I admire. I think that you are an amazing guy and I have been lucky to have your affection. I am infatuated with you but I am not in love with you. I think that I am in love with the idea of love but in my heart I am not ready for it yet. I am still healing from past bad experiences and trying to overcome the anxiety and hurt that they caused. I used to be a confident, passionate fun person and I need to find that inner spark again before I can ever really love someone. The me that you know is a shadow of the real me.
I am sorry if I seemed a little upset or agitated last night after you told me your feelings. Sometimes I am quite childish and want things to be like a fairytale with a perfect happy ending. I wanted us to fall in love and for everything in our lives to suddenly be ok. I sat on the beach late last night and reflected on how silly this was. I cannot expect a handsome prince (you) to save me from myself and the troubles in my life. I need to stand on my own two feet and be the strong independent person I used to be. Maybe then I will find love.
Anyway, I have written too much already. I just want you to know that you are a wonderful man and that I am okay with you and me and the current state of your relationship.
Thank you for making me feel so wanted and alive."